When we see what do we do with our seeing? There is seeing of self and seeing of others. Usually so much easier to see what is happening in others. Yet we know when something hits home with us because of our reaction. There is no one reaction but it goes something like this. Someone says something to you and because of the tone of voice, or the word,s or the look in their eyes, or the way they are standing or smiling(smirking at you) or all of it you…. Want to go off on them, run away, defend yourself, or some variation of these themes. We know in our heads that this is not effective but damn it anyway they came into delicate ground with their combat boots on. They la la la . and they should have known better. Here are my rules see if they work for you. Not even on the list is Meditate together. If not together meditate each day where ever you are if only together vibrationally. It’s rule before #1
Must say Keith has been a great helper with #1.
1.Don’t defend just listen to what the person is saying. Even if you want to slap them just listen and sit with it.
2. You will get your say just not now, maybe not even today. You must allow what they said to filter through you first.
3. Remember they could be totally off or not if you react they will think they are totally right you just verified it for them.
4. Listening is everything listen to them and then to yourself.
5. Timing is paramount. Know when you can come back and explain how you saw it and where you were coming from.
6. No one is right or wrong it’s all perception only truth is true.
7. You have everything to gain by being calm, deep even if you are reacting inside or outside. How fast can you get back to calm
8. Men, as you know don’t love emotional reactions it really negates it all to most of them. If you need to get emotional do so elsewhere and I recommend it, just not on them.
9. The unknown will become know to you. If you really allow yourself not to push for immediate resolution but trust your intuition you will find other even more profound things will come out of your mouth that maybe even you were not aware of.
10. It doesn’t have to be perfect (whatever that may be). You don’t have to be perfect. Just realize what is effective. When you feel triggered by the other let it seep in because they are trying to tell you something they may not be very good at expressing it either.
Remember that this is all a dance. We are using our relationships to connect more deeply to the divine. That is what they are for for unveiling what is keeping us separate, wounded, protective, rejective etc. This is not the fun part of relationships yet when you allow it and welcome it everything else become more delicious, more connected.
The two most important things in our lives are energy, without it everything is challenging and relationships because we are in relationship with everything or busy avoiding being in relationship with everything. One takes allot more energy than the other. You choose. Meditate together and everything will have more ease.
Remember my book are available for as little as $10. http://gurutej.com/store/books-of-enlightenment/ they are meant to be support and guides. I was guided I want to share with you.
We measure our lives in rememberings. This song reminds us of that, this date reminds of something, at this point last yer we were_ _ _ in fill in the blank. We are meant to remember. It helps us keep our membership in our various clubs. If we didn’t we might just land up going home with the first person who entranced us each nite. We have memory for so many reasons but it often gets in the way of us living full on, full out.
Memories hold us captive. They want us to have what we had that made us happy of made us fell protected or or or. To have a new experience or new way of perceiving we have to unchain ourselves from the perception of the past. These chains are strong and they effect every arena of our lives. They affect our relationships, our ability to lose weight, to succeed in business, with our children literally everything.
Today I was speaking with my next guest on my teleseminar series Allana Pratt (sexy mon and more) and due to interesting events in both of our lives in recent weeks we realized that our conversation on Wed on the Get your Skinny back Teleseminar will be much more profound. If you still want to join click here and I will get you the MP3 of the first call you can still get all the gifts etc. http://gurutej.com/get-your-skinny-back-pro/
What we realized was this. Relationships will challenge you. Nothing new. Are you, me, her, ready to be challenged in the wounded areas? Are we more attached to the wounds of the past ie memories or are we willing to trust . Trust not the other person but trust the divine experience that is presenting itself to reveal and heal us.
We all have different perceptions of our experiences okay I will strip down and tell you mine. I was with my family last weekend after traveling and then a really long work week getting much together for the teleseminars and more. I hit the wedding with a weaker than usual magnetic field. I have an amazingly powerful family and there is not allot of love lost on each other. Interestingly many have been in a spiritual community but have gone the other direction. Not demonic lets just say that love and understanding do not abound. There were many components my daughter was there and I hadn’t seen her since December. I got to met the person in her life. It was cold and rainy not my best weather and my daughter had a really bad cough and oh the wedding and reception were outside (the reception at least had space heaters no one expects 40 and rainy in Tucson in April). My father had super triggered my older sister who is still invested in him acting in a certain way ( as if anyone else matters). There are sister who have not spoken to me in years la la la la not one of them came up and asked me how I was doing with my daughter facing this life threatening illness. It really just is neither good nor bad but I got effected. Sad at the deep closed heartedness of it all. Keith had never met anyone except my one brother who was not there. He assumed neutral observer role trying to understand it all. He was amazed by the lack of love and also by how it effected me. He became a great observer. I needed my beloved. Not that I don’t value his neutral observer mind but in this situation I needed my lover.
What came out of this disconnect could have been anything instead we had a great and challenging conversation a couple days later about this and other things that the situation brought up and out. Just as in our physical organs are connected and interconnected our mental and emotional organs are all connected they work for and with each other. Sometimes when so much gets brought up one person will bring something up and then the whole things blows. I’m going to suggest a few things we did that really helped.
Right now going to say join us on the call http://gurutej.com/get-your-skinny-back-pro/and I will finish this in part two on the next blog.
Yesterday I was reading Kabir and Mary Oliver poems to Keith before bed and then poems started swirling in my head. So reminded me that what we listen to will resonate within us. That sound current Naad yoga component. Wahe Guru so this one is to and for you. First a little Kabir then me to you.
It’s time to put up a love swing. Tie the body and then tie the mind so that they swing between the arms of the Secret One you love. Bring the water that falls from the clouds to your eyes and cover yourself entirely with eht shadow of nite. Bring your face close to his ear and then talk only about what you deeply want to happen Kabir says, Listen to me, brother, bring the shape face and color of the holy one inside you. I say Wahe Guru.
Poetry is for making bread with the mysteries of the world, baking them lightly and eating them with relish. Poetry takes you on deep journeys with five deep words crafted together like a bamboo raft. Your life boat comes to carry you away on smooth word waters and you oblige by jumping into the unknown and flowing into a promise of the sublime. Craft your own words which will attract all the heavens to bow warmly at your feet when you no longer care.
Poetry is about letting things flow from you in ways they are normally stopped and censored. Allow the jagged rocks to crash upon calm waters and create a rumba. Be the dance and the dancer. Be the lover and the beloved. Experience it all. Become the one that dangles at the end of each word.
Wahe Guru love to you now do it. Be it that is the delight of the infinite to watch his finite stop struggling helplessly and making the most of the crashing and thrashing knowing the beloved is just knocking the dirt clods off you.
My daughter told me at twelve that she could hear my voice in her head more than she could hear her own. She needed to move away from me because she needed to hear herself. She did so very young and has been very self directed always. Her first sentence I do it myself. This was interesting then and challenging now as the mother of a very independent child with a life threatening disease. Someone asked my Beloved Keith the other day what he thought of Pritham’s decision to do this her way with no one involved in the decision process but her cousin. These were really close friends so there was no blow back. He said. “She needs her own domain and she needs us to honor the wisdom of her choice but truly they, meaning my daughter and me, occupy the same space. ” There was such wisdom in that.
It reminded me of an astrologer who told me 30 years ago that my sun sat on her moon. What did that mean I asked? She informed me it meant that she would always feel that she needed to get out from under my influence. Ah With that lens it makes it all so much easier to understand. It took my heart longer but my soul got it immediately. All these memories came flooding back to serve me in the way of increased clarity and patience. This is her journey the rest of us are along for the ride. We get to power and move and pray and pay whatever we can but she is dealing with her immortality.
Truly this is great time for us all to have that conversation with death that sits on your, my and our left shoulder awaiting the right minute to carry us off. When was the last time you looked death, your death in the eye and said come sit with me. Use this as a wake up call and do so. I’m going out to Rollerblade in the wind and rain to meditate. Blessings all, join me for classes if out of town join me by purchasing one of the great products that have come through me I can take no credit.