It is the best

It’s my beloved Birthday this week. He is not into celebrating it and he is not physically with me for me to celebrate they way I want to. By honoring him in doing just what he wants for the day. He is such an amazing aspect of the infinite that there is truly nothing I would not do for him including allowing him to celebrate or uncelebrate his birthday.

I want to get up on roofs and yell to the world my gratitude to his mother whom I never got to meet for bringing him in. I want to let everyone know so they will do wonderful things letting him know how loved he is yet this is my way not his. I honor his way and still celebrate his life, his consciousness, his fearlessness in looking at what bothers him and not hide it nor hide from it.

I spontaneously write him poems often but tonite trying to write something for him nothing came. Blank in the poetry dept. but not blank in the gratitude department. He is much more linear than I am. I appreciate his planning. He used to create manuals I can barely open one. He will look at a problem on my property and figure out what needs to happen to fix it. I usually pay my handy man and meditate on it sometimes getting great readings on things. He is a Tarus Man much more structured and mental than I am a Pisces woman. I love it and I love sharing the flip side of structure with him.

In the structure of this piece I want to say I have learned so much about relationships, about men, about being a woman, so much about being vulnerable, so much about giving and receiving. I had been on my own for a long time when we met. I had some patterns that weren’t all that inviting. He wore those down with being present. Oh and don’t think he just took it all in and didn’t let me know about things but he did it mostly with such humor or unattached directness that I  got to pay attention. We have expanded each others awareness without owning or claiming the other.

He needs quite time. He should have that. I need to travel and teach he supports that. We are so deeply together yet there is no owning. I have no idea if we will be together for all of eternity or just today but for today and all the days to follow I am greatful for this man, this great soul, whose words go deeply into me, who’s hands I adore holding, who I love meditating with and working meditations in a garden and writing copy together. He is both intelligent and wise but most of all he is of vast heart.

He loves all. He gets that love is boundless and there is enough to go round and round circling each and everyone of you. I hope some day soon you will be able to meet him through my eyes, my heart and dance in his vast embrace.

This is an addendum from Keith after he read my blog.

It’s my birthday and I’m not making a thing out of it, not sure why. Not making a thing out of somethings doesn’t mean I am not celebrating it. I have been having wonderful thoughts of my mother who passed in 2005. I have been celebrating with her in my meditations. Also celebrating with my father, brothers, my children and grandchildren. And yes I am celebrating with my Beloved, Gurutej who sees me as vast. She is Vast. She sees me as loving. She is loving. I am Blessed that she is in my life and I in hers. That is my celebration that I see in my heart.

Love and Blessings

No no’s and their antidotes

The no no’s and their antidotes.

Great Relationships are based on Trust, Honor, and seeing the soul of each other. Feed those and repeat  over and over. Oh please bring a big dose of humor it can save you from battle fatigue.  Meaning you can’t take yourself or the situation to seriously….ever.

I am going to give you the don’ts and then the fixes, the things you want to fixate and feed on. We often get attached to being right and defending our stance so here are my things to avoid unless you are ready to destroy your relationship. Don’t think any of these will be new to you just look at them see which ones you buy into and then really meditate on the flip side of each one. Each weakness is the flip side of our biggest greatness. What we focus on and feed matters. Feed daily on the Do’s The don’ts will dissolve.

Ten no no’s and 10 yes yes’s

  1. Be attached to being right at all costs.
  2. Be unwilling to talk about things
  3. Clam up
  4. Be a bitch or rager
  5. Be a Blamer
  6. Keep score of your partners mess up’s and feed them back on a regular basis
  7. When stressed  act out (in your favorite manner there are many)
  8. Act irrationally on a regular basis
  9. Pit  (fill in the blank) against your partner by telling them about your fights
  10. Speak badly about your partner in public with or without them being present.

Most people know these are recipes for disaster yet we fall into these patterns more often than we care to admit. Then it becomes a pissing contest about who is being worse or more wronged. The great news is we can stop any bad behavior . We can create a red light and then have a positive action to replace it with.

Harmony is priceless and everyone wants to live in it we often don’t feel comfortable being there. We often equate Harmony with boredom and lack of being present. It is none of these. It is vastly being presence and takes some work to stay there but much less work than digging yourself out of the “dog house “ pit.

There are things I call interrupters: Things that break the focus when we are on a tear, a rage, a bitch a whatever. They give us back our real selves. The one we want to be with. Here is one to do instead of clawing eyes out.

Claw Dance

Two steps for a radiant, charismatic energy

Round up and tighten fingers in long clawed-like hands.

Come up tall on your toes swinging the arms out to the sides and up over the head in a big arc motion.  Breath in on the way up while saying “WHO”. Next, squat down while the arms are swinging downward in a big arc. Exhale saying “LA” on the way down. Keep repeating these 2 steps.

1-2 minutes

Gift of doing this

Strengthens thighs and increases energy. Replenishes your energy field and expands awareness. Helps clears the mind when facing challenges.

Use this breath in moments when you need to reclaim yourself from a difficult

situation, a frustrating moment, or when really angry.

Dragon breath will bring expansion.

Inhale with eyes closed in four equal parts through the nose or mouth, then exhale by extending your tongue out as far as possible and opening your eyes as wide open as you can. Share this with your children. Look at yourself in the mirror when doing this, and you will get another benefit: taking yourself lightly it is a very funny sight.  Do it in the middle of a fight see what happens. Focus Shifts, negative interlock breaks. Try it and see.

 

Benefits: here are your ten Great embracers.

  1. 1. Be Flexible
  2. 2. Practice Communicating, Practice listening whether you feel like it or not.
  3. 3. Open up. Don’t dump just trust.
  4. 4. Relate to the wisdom in yourself and your partner
  5. 5. Be the Claimer: Recite to yourself the things you love about your partner
  6. 6. Forgive yourself and your partner. Allow the possibilities of change for the better
  7. 7. When Stressed know what you need. Make a list when you are not stressed. Exercise, meditate, take a bath, hugs etc. eating not on the list.
  8. 8. Practice calm understanding everyone can fall apart it’s not sexy
  9. 9. Don’t share your fights with others unless they help you see how you contributed
  10. 10. Uplift your partner by how you speak to, with and about him/her.

 

Sounds easy right and I know sometimes it is not. We get frustrated. That’s why committed relationships are looked at as one of the most challenging paths. They are great at changing us make the change be one of wisdom, upliftment, vastness . Who wants anything less. It takes day to day moment to moment practice but remember why you fell in love with this person. You SAW them see them again, you will want to do these things.

 

© Copyright 2011 by Gurutej Khalsa. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: “Written by Gurutej Khalsa, spiritual teacher, writer, speaker, Energy Guru and success coach. Gurutej Khalsa has over 200 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter. Sign in here www.gurutej.com for your free gift.

What to do with Challenging days?

I wish I could tell you that I deal with every day perfectly no matter what. Would you believe me if I said that? Probably not.

I have gone from having a great meeting on Monday with a Beverly Hills Doctor from the Mideast who had some very interesting insights on the situations there which got us to speaking of hope vs harm, of fanatics vs conscious. So interesting because there is a thin line between enthusiam and wanting to share all you have or know with others and believing that you have the only way. This is true of religions, it is true of the internet, it is simply true. The only way thinking means you can eliminate anyone who does not agree with you or your philosophy right?

We spoke of hope and being hopeful in these times that are a race into who knows what . The fanatics promote fear and if we don’t promote hope the fear will win. Love is encoded in Hope you can’t have hope without connection, no connection without love and trust. It’s just fakery. Better to fake hope than be hopeless right.

Tuesday I was rollerblading my beloved neighborhood hills it clears my head so most afternoons when in town you will see me dancing the hills. This day I passed two women one black and one white in the midst of a very loud altercation. Actually the white woman was yelling really loudly yelling in her best outside voice at the block woman. ” I need you to listen to me I need you to hear me.” As she was yelling her energy and hair were both totally out of control. I hoped the other woman could placate her there was no reasoning at this point. As I was coming up the hill the Black woman is walking down the hill saying to me or maybe no one. “That’s what happens when you try to help someone.” I couldn’t let this pass so I stopped and said. ” Do you want to release this energy from your magnetic field?” She sighed and said, “yes.” Then proceeded to blurt out the entire story of how this woman was moving in with her mother who has Alzheimer’s disease into a house she could not afford and her friend helped move this woman but she had so much stuff that he wanted more money to finish the move and that is what triggered her. She told me this man was a good man and had helped her out many times. I listened and then said you know this isn’t about you ro this man don’t you. It’s about her feeling totally overextended and you were the one who was both present and safe to let loose on. She immediately got it and thanked me for making her feel better. She then said.” I see you rollerblading and you are so at peace it just makes me feel better.” Never know do we?

Trust me it is not always this easy. I had a client that morning who has been depressed for 6 years, no she has not been my client for 6 years only 3 sessions. She is so not ready to get out of her depression yet mouth says she is that she will do none of the techniques I give her for more than a few days. It takes at least 40 consecutive days to break a habit and 120 to get a new one embedded.  She doesn’t work, she doesn’t exercise, she doesn’t have friends, actually she neither likes not trusts people all she has that ties her into the earth is her two 11 year olds girls. I am very creative and have done this work for along time and watched the best shift energy. so I went another direction and said how about volunteering? She got excited I had just been to this benefit for this Jewish foundation on Sunday nite so I recommended them since she is Israeli. She said yes till I said 3 times/week for 2 hours. She freaked. 6 hours. I said what would you do with those 6 hours? She had no answer but it was too much to give away even if it meant it would give back. So here were tow woman. One I could help her shift in the street in 5 minutes and the other in one hour of a paid session I could not budge. I finally had to say you are not done with this depression. It must have something more to teach you. So be with it because you are not ready for what must seem more scary to you than being in this depression. Coming back to life and rebuilding your business, your life, your heart.

Then Wednesday I got my trial by fire. Birthing my product in Whole Foods and literally it was like birthing an elephant. It took 6 weeks of back and forth. Then yes finally did it  Wahe Guru got my pillows into the big Venice stores and guess what not over yet. I can’t even go into what they want it would truly be easier to give them my first born child. Trust me I really like and love my first and second born children by the way that is as many as I have. So if you tell me you have your products in WF and you have done it recently I will send you a prayer and a congratulations. You need an angel to make it happen I did have that Alex in whole body go see him and say I heard you are really an angel.

Today, today is a new day that I started as usual with meditation and then I planted a tree with a prayer. Ahhh I had breakfast  in the sun of my back yard watching the finches flitter in my bouganvilla, and humming birds feast on my purple Lobelia. deep breath and deep gratitude. Gratitude necessary to keep us healthy on all levels.

Tell me of your tools to stay the course in Gratitude and what you do when knocked down or out. Thank you I appreciate your connections.

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