I could write on and on about what you can do, should do, must do, and could do. We have all been frustrated with and in our relationships especially regarding a juicy relationship for couples. I had one of my students write me an entire letter the other day on all the ways she hated everything about her husband. It took me two sentences for me to get back to a place of willingness to see what could change. It went from hate, hate, hate to I don’t know what to do.
These are three very simple rules that I hope you will apply to your relationship with you and your relationship with everyone ESPECIALLY your beloved. They sound so easy and at times they will be; at other times you will not want to do any of them. These are the times that you want to reread this and listen to Nike’s “Just do it.”
Write these three relationship for couples sayings on a piece of paper or on your phone or pad but carry them around till they are yours.
- Chose to be kind to each other. Life is hard enough as it is. Kindness costs little and reaps big benefits. “Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.”
- Rejoice in your differences. They will make things juicy in the long run. Have patience in the short run. They will widen your vision and experience.
- See the humor in your relationship and in the life around you.
Here is something that will break up fights and help you to see the humor when you have lost yours. Believe it or not, this is a yogic breath. Those yogis are such wild beings.
This breath is used to release frustration, anger, upset and to give you a sense of humor.
Inhale in 4 equal parts through your mouth with your eyes closed, unless you are driving. Then the fun part—exhale by sticking your tongue out as far as possible and open your eyes super wide.
Do this in front of a mirror and it will change your mood. You can’t take yourself seriously when you do this. Or, do it with your partner during a fight or just to get over something. You really only need to do this 3-5 times but you can do it longer. Have fun. It actually helps to balance your thyroid and parathyroid.
Things I have found helpful to remember. My little love multiplier list.
- Count your blessings together, and they will multiply.
- Speak to each other with kindness (even when you don’t feel it) and it comes back to you.
- Take your time with sex.
- Make time and give space to feed and build intimacy physically, mentally and spiritually. Get really naked with each other. Let the other in…
And above all, enjoy. We forget that we got into these things because we liked, loved and truly saw each other. Let each other in and delight in this gift. Or… when the juicy dries up, either revitalize it or it will die a natural death with neglect.
If you want more, try yoga for couples
In Joy and Delight I send you love, love, love.