I’d love to have a circle where everyone gets to say what in their life they are allowing to steal their energy. I will share first. I had this person that lived with me whom I loved but didn’t like much. Why? He was a royal pain. Narcissistic, every conversation was about him, his views and his needs. He couldn’t be part of and contribute but needed everything from me. Even his moving out was a month of drama and trauma. But I let myself get my tail stuck in his grinding machine. When I was able to just let him go off as he often did and not get involved, all was fine with me. It wasn’t whether I could only keep my calm externally but also if I could keep my calm internally. I could even be outrageous externally. It was all about the internal temperature. That was the gauge if I let him “get to me.” He was a great teacher. I am greatful but I don’t want to seek more of that out.
So for you, what are the robbers in your life? Someone close to you at home or work that can get you going in a way you don’t love? Someone that belittles you or tries to always be right or in-charge or worse, sabotage you? We all have these “teachers” in our lives and it’s really about what we do with them. Big chances are they aren’t going to change but you can change. You can change your reaction to the situation. Hard yes, but not as hard or energy-losing as getting in what I call an interlock with them. It’s the interlock that steals our neutral mind, our clarity of thought and heart. Sorry but some people are truly crazy and you may have to work with them but you don’t have to give them your energy. When you engage on their level, they win and they win big because winner takes all. That means all your energy too. So what to do?
1. Identify your energy stealers.
2. How long have they been in place?
3. Are you willing to shift your perception of them for starters?
Want to share this story with you for it says it so well. I met this wonderfully majical woman at the Genius bar. She made me laugh. We were talking about the fact that I learned my backup lesson a few years ago. Recently I had the misfortune of having my hard drive wiped clean to regain any connection with my computer. And yes, I had just backed up the week before Wahe Guru. She said, “You know what I do when my computer says back up? I take two steps back.” She won my heart in that one sentence. That’s what I had wanted to do for years but broke that habit. That wasn’t the most amazing thing. The best part was when she asked me if I knew about a certain yoga center. I had helped start this center so of course I knew about it. Then she said something super perceptive about one of the teachers there but with no judgment. It was so wonderful – there was no gossip, just very clear discernment. That is what will give you the best connection with your distractor/teacher. Get a clear 50,000 ft. view, not the upfront and personal one you are carrying around in your chest pocket named your heart, and cut the cords of entanglement. Yes, literally cut them with the laser view of discernment. See their beauty, their faults, see them and then bless them and bless you so you don’t get entangled in the vines of their forest. What happens is their mess calls out to your insecurities and they’ve got you. So do this when you see this person or could be a memory of a place.
Exercise: Pursed lips for calm/vision
Take a very deep breath in from the soles of your feet and then purse your lips really hard with the lips rolled in like you have no teeth. Keep that position with your breathing happening slowly through your nose. You obviously can’t do this in front of them but only as soon as you get away.
Another Exercise: For calm /light
This is great while you are with them. Rub the tips of your fingers together in little circles, just lightly touching them. It will calm you down and this you can do right in front of them.
Exercise: For cutting the bonds
Take your hands like swords and with palms facing you, start cutting at an angle across your heart. Focus on a powerful downward movement with a powerful “O” breath. Make an “O” out of your mouth and breathe. Inhale and exhale through that “O” powerfully while making the downward chopping movements.
Try these not to change “them” or the situation but to give you more clarity and power so you can SEE your way through. More attention to the intention and less to the drama and trauma of energy-stealing people and situations.