Sometimes we tell instead of ask. Sometimes we are afraid to ask. Sometimes we want someone else to do it for us. We have so many sometimes that we have lost the power to ask. I just learned something truly wonderful that I think everyone can use. We are always trying to figure out where the other person or people in our lives are and yet we don’t ask. Here is the question I came up with after much ado about nothing. What would you like me to know right now about what is most important to you right now?
You could also say. Tell me what is happening inside of you right now? (appropriate for women) Want to share what you really want me to know right now? Tell me the most important thing in your life right now? Any variation of this.
It will save you groping around trying to find out why you are not connecting the way you want to. I’m not telling you. You will always get the answer you want right off the bat. The other person will see that you want to know what is up in their world and that alone matters. They will share when they are ready to the depth that they can. You have opened the door of letting them know you want into their world. Not to mess with it or rate it, but to really know.
If you mess with it or criticize it you may lose the key to this door. Be careful once you are allowed in. Be yes graceful and considerate. You have to ask for trust and that is precious. Guard it carefully so you can expand it.