As I approach the wire of anything I realize it could mean death by electrocution, it could mean slipping under the wire, it could mean taking a deep breath and flying over it. The wire usually means something intense will transpire at the wire. A death of something old will end at that wire. I realize I have died many times before. Little deaths, big deaths the only real question is did it bring me closer to my essence or push me further away? The fear factor freezes us in a particular time and space usually not all that yummy. So the real question is how can we review the coming down to any wire in our life? I will tell you what I am doing as I approach a live wire in my life.
This particular deadline is my daughter going to MD Anderson to get her diagnosis. Is her cancer in remission or is is still active? If it’s still active they are going to strongly recommend two things.
!. Still heavier medication that is new and really untried.
2. a bone marrow transplant
Neither of these interests my daughter for she has done her research homework. She only decided under lots and lots of pressure that she would succumb to chemo to stay alive. It was just supposed to back the cancer into a corner so the real healing could take place.
Real healing has taken place all along the way trust me. So much has been honored,resolved, dissolved, and solved. Now we stand at thee brink of this new reality. What will she choose to do? How will we handle whatever diagnosis comes? Hell yes and heaven yes we want and are holding the blastingly bright vision and prayers that remission it is. Wahe Guru. Yet we still must stare the beast between the eyes and prepare for “What if that is not the case?”
We talked this week deeply and I told her of my strategy which I can only speak for myself. I have soo humbly and unhumbly learned that little and so big concept of only speaking for myself. I learned this right along side of the fact that this in not about me. NOT NOT and still sometimes I falter with this one. I said, ” I want to say that whatever happens I will look for whatever options need to be looked for given the feed back we get.” They can only tell us what they find they cannot tell us of any real outcome. I will not buy that their outcome is all there is. You have hundreds of people praying and paying for you to be healed. I hold that vision no matter what anyone else says. I hold you in my deepest heart. You have inspired millions yes truly millions and none of this has been in vain. (I wrote vein here ) We do want the veins to have healthy red yummy, clean, clear blood running through them.
So all this being said and felt and meant I ask that you do hold her in the light of all lights. Chant for her. Pray for her. Love on her. Look at her picture and send her light. As her mother I can ask you for everything. As Gurutej I can tell you that all you give will come into you not at some distant time but as you do it. Give light and it will give back. Give love and yours will grow and flower and overtake your life with a vastness you can’t even imagine. Thank you from the deepest of places where the mother and The Guru (one who removes the veils of darkenss) come together as Tej (the speed of light). This is paramount to me and paramount to all who are part of my world. It is practice we will get many chances to use these skills later so lets develop truly deep and delicious ones now. Nothing is lost. Allow all to gain.