It’s mothers day and I am reminded of what an amazing gift it is to be a mother. I am also reminded of the delicate nature of motherhood. There is no rule book and sometimes when you think you are doing it most right you are so wrong. I don’t usually use the word right and wrong because effective and ineffective seem much more powerful but when it comes to being a mother right and wrong seem the words to choose.
My children were not afraid to tell me when they felt I had messed up in all sorts of ways. It took me awhile to understand and listen probably till now actually. I was so invested in being “the mother” The one who knew and truly I became a mother at barely (weeks into) being 24. How much do you know at that age? I felt I was supposed to know. It is such a balance between knowing and being open to not knowing. My daughter is teaching me that so deeply now.
I don’t know what she needs though sometimes I think I do. I need to listen to her with my ears, my heart, my intuition and then ask her what she wants not needs wants. She will let me know if she needs. I can offer and not be attached to whether the offer is accepted or rejected. Being a mother really means being fierce as an Eagle who’s babies are being threatened and smooth as dark purple velvet drapes. Leading from our emotional states not productive. Being from our depth of perception very supportive. I wished I knew what I know now when I was 24 yet I feel that I wouldn’t have embraced it then.
I think we need to have our brains totally washed out from all we have be told and advised of when we give birth. All the books we have read need to be purged. We just need to have the eyes of birth where we experience the miracles of birth and have the visions of what is truly sustaining to this body and soul that has come to and through us.
So on this day honoring Mothers I just want to say thank you to all mothers who have had the courage to trip , stumble, and fall flat on your faces and get up and do it again. To ask those who may have better answers. To ask forgiveness from our children when we blow it. To ask forgiveness from our own critical natures for we really want what is best for these majical beings. Allow your vision of what that might be to expand and get out of their way. They know more than you think.
One child the other day was telling a friend of his that brothers and sisters are enemies until they get much older. The other child, a child of one of my students, said, “My sister and I are frenemies.” When his Mom asked what that was “frenenmies”. He said very matter of factly, “Sometimes friends and sometimes enemies.” May we remember this wisdom for it is true and so is it true with us and our children. Allow yourself to feel the frenemies. Then get into your heart of hearts and laugh for that gives us the clarity we really need to be mothers. Breathe and know that this moment is another chance to be more vast, more light natured, more joyous and hopeful.
Love and Blessings