The hardest thing when you are “in love” is to see the person clearly, right? We see what we want to see—what we fall in love with, which is the essence of the person. If your love lives in, and to their essence, you are in good shape and don’t need to read this article. If you are having doubts or have a pattern of picking what we call “losers,” which means people that don’t match up or have the same values, ideals, hopes and consciousness as you do, here are some relationship advice I, and others, have found easy and great markers to take a look at.
Here are some relationship advice you just might want to follow when making a commitment to and with someone. It doesn’t matter if it is a marriage or a moving-in-together. Yes, one is easier to get out of, but the longer you live together, the more entwined your lives become.
- Check out and listen to what the people you love around you think and feel about the person you are thinking of being with. Listen even if you don’t want to or think you need to.
- If the person you have chosen treats you nicely and everyone else badly, he or she will treat you the same way in time.
- If he/she treats you badly but always feels bad and makes it up to you, this will continue and quite possibly get much worse with added stressors.
- Do you want this person to be the mother/father of your children even if you think you don’t want any?
- Is this person kind and gives back to the community? Any community?
- Are you both open to change? Change is essential to a thriving relationship. Have you witnessed this capacity during your relationship thus far?
- At times you may need outside advice. Don’t hesitate to find help; there are people specifically trained to solve a couple’s problems. Are they open to this? Find out now.
- Don’t think I even need to say , but will. If your Potential Partner is addicted to anything—drugs, alcohol, sex, negativity, gambling—then addiction will come first. You are not the cure! You are not the cure!
Does he yell at you? Is she always freaking out? Does your partner always have to have it his or her way? These are just a few relationship advice I can give and I could go on and on about the road signs. But I want to tackle a key issue in every relationship.
In my Book The Slice of the Beloved the first quarter of the book is about YOU—your relationships with yourself, which comes first. This is an important relationship advice to take in and that is how important I feel this is. It’s about YOU. How do you take care of you? How do you de-stress yourself? Do you do the things you love? Do you exercise? Do you take time for you? Do you value you? Do you meditate? If you don’t value and take care of YOU, then you cannot expect that the other person is going to do this or that for you. It is 100% guaranteed that this will NOT happen.
We sometimes think or wish we were in a relationship for security or so someone will truly love us. I know women and I’m sure there are men (I just don’t know them), who have also “traded up” for security. One of these women told me, “They give you their black American express card to do as you want with.” The price you pay is you ask no questions about what they do in any aspect of their lives.” This is an arrangement and it has a name, and that name is not good or great for a relationship. “Relationship” means you relate hopefully in deep ways. Remember that how you see YOU and how you treat YOU is how others will treat you. Value YOU. Do things that build that value. Choose YOU; feed yourself first so you have what it takes to give to others. Remember, on planes they say, “The oxygen mask will drop down. First put your mask on and then put the put the mask on any children traveling with you.” That safety rule holds in life. Oh, and that’s not just for the children in your life.
- Feed yourself meditation so you can see.
- Feed yourself good food so your moods stay even and you feel good.
- Feed yourself the right to do the things you love on a regular basis. It will make you more loving.
- Feed yourself exercise so you have the strength to do what needs to be done.
Do all this with love and you will cultivate the grace necessary to relate from your heart. Exhaustion closes your heart and never helps with communication or connection. Be the lover. Breathe life into your life so you have it to breathe into and see what is right for all involved.
“Don’t sell yourself short; you deserve the best.” This relationship advice will help you truly feed you.
You deserve to get your essence back in bright and powerful, love. Deserve, then desire. If you desire first, you may not get what you truly deserve. Clear your intuitive centers so you can be receptive to what is—not what you want or hope it can, or will be. When things are what you want them to be, say yes, yes, yes. You have a platform to build from.
Deep love and Blessings to you