This is really a Koan so there is not easy answer but there is a correct one. I want to hear what you think about this. What if you don’t feel loved? What if you can’t “find” love? Are you doomed or damned? Is finding love like finding God? What is the reason we keep seeking it all out? Is God love? If yes then why is loving God not enough for most mer mortals?
These are musings that came about after an early morning visit to the farmers market. I only went to buy the caco/chipotle covered walnuts as gifts on my journeys. At the stand an old really old woman was speaking of how inspiring this voice was and somehow I knew it was the 10 year girl who sang opera. I only knew about her through the grace of a YouTube video someone so kindly shared with me. It was like some possession seeing this young girl with this profoundly developed operatic voice bellow out o f this tiny unfinished body . They were speaking of things esoteric sorta of. Turns out the vendor was Buddhist and the women who knows she just knew it was something beyond genetics. The man looked to me to say something more so I said, “Oh like reincarnation or sequentially lived lives.” He then informed me he was Buddhist and I ask if that meant he would not kill me for my beliefs if they differed from his. He did have a sense of humor and said, ” I bow to whatever beliefs you hold.” Bhuddists should be the negotiators of the world.
Beliefs are about love or fear. We buy each and every one of them for a reason, a really good one at the time but we often fail to take them out occasionally and see if they still fit. We would never think of wearing a 30 year old pair of shoes but 30 years old beliefs still cling to us. We have beliefs on almost everything. They do not limit themselves to politics and religion. Take a look at yours under the light day, under the cool moon light, under the light of neutral scrutiny. Are your current beliefs current? Do they truly uphold you and represent you in the world and beyond?
Love always adds a slanted lenient light. Love gives us permission to dispense with to deep of scrutiny. Love make us lean in towards it. Love makes us grow because it is both sustaining and supportive. So do you get loved because you love? Or do you just get loved? Does love beget more love and if so is it measurable. I have a knowingness. You can never love to much. We can obsess or possess too much but love in its real form is based on infinite storehouses. Love really feeds both the lover and the beloved.
It must be the Jewish New Year that is making me ask all these questions. Love not only makes people want to be around us but love makes us tolerant. Love makes us Blind. Love makes us patient. So why do we loose the love? Why do we cover it up with bundles of grudges? Why do we bury it under lists of hate? Let’s unbury the love you have. Dust off the essence of your loves. Give each love in your life another look with new eyes. Ones that haven’t been blinded by judgement and damnation. See what is loveable. Smell the fragrance of love it is intoxicating. God is giving us the chance to be intoxicated all ways, always. Buy the real intoxication that happens when you burst open and get to see the majic of one movement, one voice, one silly snort or laugh. Be willing to burst open that is the requirement of true love. It is fearless. It is delightful, it is expansive, it is soo worth it.
This was inspired also by the moment to moment growth of my love for my Beloved. I am aware that my heart is now to big for my chest. Though he is the focus all are the recipients of this expansion. So the answer is loving allows you to be and experience love. I do love you. Allllll