We sometimes think we REALLY know someone but we never know the totality of the person till we know the totality of everything. This is just my tribute and hit on a being called Gracie who lived with me for the biggest part of 5 years. In fact she was moving out, moving on every few months and finally had to die to leave. She is not gone yet.
You were such an amazing vapor. You blew through our lives splashing unexpected majic. You dressed like a flowing angel, hippie making shawls your trade mark and at the end you accented that with boots. Your to be remembered black boots that were your grounding agent. You needed tethers to hold you earth bound for you had no time/space markers. 20 minutes could me tomorrow or maybe not at all who knew only you. You could drive the scheduled insane with cancellations and postponements but you refused to be boxed in. You were more ether than earth.
You were a lover of land and city. When you are on the land you wanted all the city offered and when in the city the land called to you. Thus your two homes straddling your two worlds. You wanted to bring all your worlds of people together. Your dream of a house with a white picket fence was revealed to me as a place to have all your people in one place. Building community together. Your Hospice room became that home where all gathered to be with you bringing their gifts to connect and enchant you. You the enchanted one got to receive our gifts.
You always wanted to have the perfect love, to be loved and seen by the one and yet…. You had so many more than the one who deeply loved you, your spirit. We all came calling to be with you. Yet your deepest love was for the being called Marley or Marley man as we would call him. You wanted to figure out a safe expansive passage for him through this life. You gave him such an array of experiences from travel, to alternative schools to living in Code Pink houses and attending so many environmental, and peace events. You gave him the grace of knowing the beauty of service. You wanted the best schools for him. You wanted to home school him. You wanted, you wanted him to love you. To be connected with you. To know how much you cared. I always used to tease you that Marley would become an Accountant just to have some structure in his life. He wanted a room of his own. You gave him rooms everywhere you roamed. He wanted a set place. You gave him the set of the Universe to feel free everywhere. The cancer Gypsy parade all three of you traipsing the world in search of experiences, in search of home, love, the unknown only you will know for sure what.
Oh you of many ideas. Oh you who would passionately want to paint for a week then be called to write the endless story, then go serve, then get a job, then find the perfect love, or sing. I encouraged you to pick one just pick one for a year or two and then move to the next but that was far to practical. It made no sense to you. No more than the need to exercise did. You wanted to want it but did not yet want it till you got to Hospice then you wanted that gym membership When I ask you why you responded in total seriousness, “To swim of course I need to get strong.” Which meant I am not ready to leave. My foot print is not strong enough here, not big enough not deep enough. Your footprint is just perfect. You left me with wonder and as you said in our meditation. You gave me looseness. You loosened my bonds of what needed to be and replaced them with ribbons blowing in the wind.
When Keith saw your picture before meeting you. He exclaimed, “ What beauty and innocence.” Yogi Bhajan always said, “Loose anything before you loose your innocence”. You may have felt hurt, angry, shamed, unloved but what shone through was your innocence, your true caring, your wanting to be part of and bringing your gifts to the party whatever party it was. You got us all to take care of you without ever feeling like you were less than. It was an even trade you brought your Gracieness and we got to house and feed you. It turned out to be a very fare deal. Thank you for Gracing my life your sounds are still resounding in our home and in my heart. I chant AKAL to send you on to total merger.